After an long-extended break from writing in this, it seems a bit strange that in my first blog-back I would be writing about aimlessness... But I suppose it's down to aimlessness that I've ended up back here in this haven for the lost and loserly, recording my moanings so that you can all feast upon them from some safe and secret corner, your spotty, pale face, made even paler by the glow of the computer screen, your brow rising and falling ever so slightly as you read, indicating that yes, you do still have some semblance of a human heart left after bebo has had its fun with you and tossed you back down into dark abyss from whence you came, after even the most violent and despicable porn sites have become banal to your small, scrutinous, squinting eyes.
So ye... I'm just feeling in a bit of a nowhere place right now... Although I'm still in school (though only for a few more months, thank god) I feel like it's already over. I'm attributing this to that fact that I've been 18 for almost 6 months now (wow I just realised that); everything about 'growing up', all the rites of passage and all that just feels like bullshit at this stage, and I know that sounds terribly up myself but it's true. I'm sure once I hit college everything will seem fresh again, and there'll be a whole new set of occasions to look forward to. But right now, I've still got to go to school, fill in my homework journal and drink my little carton of milk at big break, and think about the Leaving Cert. I just feel like I'm in a transition phase, while logically I'm just heading towards an inevitable point, one for which I really should start getting ready.
Come to think of it this feeling is probably due to some subconscious fear of disappointment, I'm just opting out of the present so I don't have to worry about the future or something like that
fancier language. Oh deary deary me...
So ye I think this has been a pretty good return blog so I'm just going to leave it at that. I'll leave you with a quote from Ghostworld, the movie whose title I stole for this blog:
'I'm taking a remedial art class for retards and fuck-ups'...(it's a really, really weird movie)
3 comments:
*applauds*
I like the first paragraph cos you talk about me in it=D
ye i'd hoped you'd get that... no offence meant of course... i was going to write something about the fact that im not rele one to talk about internet freaks as i type rapidly into my oh-so introverted blog, but i didnt in the end cz i thought it was obvious enough - keep reading, and keep writing!
wow. Paddy, it awesome having you back in blog world! :D
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