SAD - '2k9, not so fine'

Yes it's that time of year again, the time of dark January mornings and early evenings and going back to school, the warm, fuzzy edges of christmas time having been shaken sharply into focus, and now we can see clearly enough to realise just how fucking bleak the immediate future actually is. The Mocks are coming. Everyone is always in bad humour. Summer is an eternity away. No (reasonably) good weather. No FUN.

I'm pretty convinced I suffer from a condition known as SAD (though I'm equally convinced its not a condition of mind, rather a kind of animal instinct). For those of you not familiar with the term, this doesn't mean that being a pathetic loser has been declared a medical condition. SAD stands for 'Seasonal Affective Disorder', and those who suffer from it are said to react more severely than others to good or bad weather; for example, a really nice sunny day might put a SAD sufferer in high spirits for no other particular reason, making them feel relaxed, healthy, energetic and enthusiastic, while a dreary grey drizzly day could send them plummeting into the depths of depression, unable to sleep, uncertain about the future, and uncharacteristically short-tempered.
Now, I've pretty much trawled the interweb for information about SAD, and I've done all the 'do YOU have SAD?' personality tests you like, and I have come to the conclusion that I am one of the many people who suffer from it, whether or not it is actually an unnatural occurance in a person. Every year, come January, I get the blues in a maaaaaaaajor way man (again I stress my view that it's pretty obvious that everyone gets them too, but that's not going to stop me complaining about it);
I find it difficult to get up in the mornings, I have less desire to engage in conversations with people, I find my friends irritating all the time (but when I'm not with them I mourne whatever fun I might be missing out on), I've little motivation to do anything proactive other than plan to do things in the future, and the simple pleasures like stuffing my face, watching tv, playing the piano, drinking, just don't have their usual ability to raise my spirits.

It just one of those things. I know it'll pass, it always does, but it's easier to say that than to believe it. This time of year is really lonely; everyone's got a heavy workload, and they're tired, and because of that they all piss eachother off. I'd love to meet up with all the people I haven't seen in yonks, but I bet if I did I'd just have nothing interesting to say and everyone would get on my nerves. And I could be wrong about that, but as you may be able to tell I'm pretty pessemistic right now.

And ANOTHER thing! Our 6th holiday, initially planned to be interrailing, is pretty much fallen through, as no-one is 'up for it'. I don't even care if we don't go interrailing, I just want to go somewhere where I can have fun with my friends, I don't give a shite where or for how long or how many people are going, but this trip being a shambles is just another monumentally shite thing about the present.....

ugh i need a break....fucking shitness of January!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And NOBODY had better say anything like 'onwards and upwards' in the coming weeks, or they can just fuck off.

SERIOUSLY